Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconmakingfunofstuff: More from MakingFunOfStuff


Featured in Collections

Literature by WantsToLoseHerMask

Literature by GetWatchers

Writings by HealerKira


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
November 24, 2013
File Size
5.6 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,861
Favourites
61 (who?)
Comments
45
×
Hate is a strong word.


Did you ever hear someone say, "We need to stop bullying!" and wonder to yourself, when you have ever seen a stereotypical bully with big muscles and a black, ripped-up leather jacket pushing around smaller kids and stealing their lunch money?

Realizing this is obviously corny and unrealistic, you throw this idea away in the sewer where it belongs.

But then who are these bullies that everyone is talking about? It seems very interesting that bullying has (as they say) become such a very big problem nowadays... Hence the inspirational phrases, "haters gonna hate," and "don't judge," coming into popularity.
But again, which bullies are everyone referring to?

I'm not writing this to say that bullies don't exist. I'm not writing this to offend victims. I know bullying exists. You could say I'm merely writing this to make fun of "fake" bullies and "fake" victims. Nothing I say in this will absolutely hold true in every (if indeed, most) situations of bullying. I'm only here to point out that some of you may not actually be being bullied at all. Hopefully you will be able to tell after reading this.

First of all, does the bully actually hate you? Nowadays, people who are trying to be smart might point out how the word "love" is thrown around. Correct as they are, they still forget to mention the other word that gets thrown around equally as much (if not more) than love. That word is "hate."

"I'm sick of you hating on me!"

"Don't let the haters get to you."

"I'm sick of all the hate."

Stop for a minute. Let's think about what hate means. We often use it to mean "dislike" (I dislike/hate pepperoni). If you want to do that, okay. Let's see what happens when we substitute.

"I'm sick of you disliking on me!"

"Don't let the dislikers get to you."

"I'm sick of all the dislike."

Hmm. It doesn't have the same effect, does it? It seems evident that when we say "hate," we are in fact referring to something that goes a little deeper than mere dislike.

I've heard hate described as wishing someone ill, which makes a little more sense.
When you love someone, you can dislike certain things about that person (is it even possible to like everything about anyone?) and still love them by treating them well anyway. It only makes sense that hate would be the opposite. Perhaps the hater secretly admires things about the person they hate, but treats them ill anyway.

Going by this definition, I would like to elminate the idea that perfectly innocent people are haters. Too many times, I've seen teenage girls crying "bully" and "hater" about people that they themselves have (ironically) judged too quickly and too harshly.

A classic example are people who disagree with you about something. Perhaps to your face, perhaps not. Disagreeing is not hating by any means (when done so respectfully, of course). And no, respectful doesn't mean they have to agree to disagree either. Perhaps they're just trying to change your mind because they think something is best for you. Regardless of whether they're mistaken or not, these are good intentions, not ill, and not hate by any means.

Demonizing people for having different ideas than you is a tactic too often used by people looking for sympathy. They use other people as tools, calling them "bullies," to make themselves seem like bigger victims, when in fact the only bullies are in their own head (or consequently, is themself).

Sometimes I read statuses on Facebook and wonder if some people sit around all day, waiting for something bad to happen and then think, "Oh, good! Something to make people feel sorry for me!" If that's your hobby, then that's already one dumb thing to do... If you're abusing other people for it, that's yet another.

Odds are, when these people say they're being bullied, they're not referring to being beaten up by the guy with the skull t-shirt. More often they're talking about that nice, friendly girl who you happen to know would never purposely hurt anyone (because they made a stupid joke about nerds or something). They're talking about that well-intentioned boy who they happen to know doesn't agree with their actions for whatever reasons (usually more reasonable ones than assumed or portrayed by the accuser).

It can sometimes be like living in a backwards world where the "victims" bully the "bullies" instead of it being the other way around. I've seen so-called victims blow up at people who literally go out of their way to be as loving and gracious as possible.

No, your dad doesn't hate you for telling you not to do something. He's obviously doing it for the opposite reason, idiot.

Even people you think are extreme might just be trying to help you. Be nice to them, then. Explain your side respectfully, then. Don't call hater and then cop out just because that's what society encourages us to do.

Hear people out. Both sides, not just the "victim's." Be kind to them. Stop talking behind their backs; indirectly or otherwise. Never use people for your own image. They're not stepping stones, and this egotistical culture never calls us out for using them that way.
Life isn't a big game about proving your personality; how great you are, how deep you are, how mysterious/funny/random/poor/miserable/sickly/pathetic/wonderful/sad/any-adjective-you-want you are... It's not about twisting the world to compliment yourself. ESPECIALLY not twisting other people.

That said, sure there are real bullies out there. There's real hate out there. I'm not going to bother making fun of it right now. It makes fun of itself. Right now I just want to ask you to let the things that were said above to sink in. Thank you for reading, I felt it needed to be said.

EDIT: Side thought

Even in cases of "legitimate bullying," think about how much the person doing the bullying is worth taking seriously or getting miserable about. I've seen people fly off the handle because of immature comments by nine year olds. Really, if the person is bullying in the first place, they're obviously not (being) that deep in the first place, no matter what.
I think it's safe to say, just don't be a drama queen and you'll be fine. Just don't be one of those girls who lives to post about their misery on Facebook for attention.
Don't look for bullies under every rock or your misery just might be self-imposed.
I've met people who WANT to be victims.

"I say I'm fine, but I'm dying inside. I fake a smile, but nobody knows how I feel," said the teenage girl as she posted this on Facebook, thus defeating the meaning of being a tragic hero in any way, shape or form whatsoever.

You can easily forgive your brother for making a joke, that random lady in the store who thought you were a guy, or some idiot who made a careless comment on a whim that odds are they weren't really putting their heart into anyway. Gee, it's almost like you don't WANT to get over it. Oh wait...

Someone once said something that has always stuck with me, and I believe it's because things that ring with truth naturally do. She was talking about how she used to be depressed, and how she got over it. She said that she had been too focused on herself. She said something to the effect of, "even my negative thoughts were all about myself. It was always about me, me, me," but once she TRULY stopped obsessing over herself (and that didn't just mean not saying good things about herself), that was when her life felt more meaningful. And that's something that's really powerful to think about.

Again, I do believe in legitimate instances of bullying where this is not the case. However, there are plenty of drama-seeking people who abuse others to make themselves look deeper, and they seldom get called out. That's all I wanted to do here.
WHAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN HATERS BUT I WAS BULLIED IN HIGHSCHOOL AND FHFIEFWHIFWHFVWNJJHIWEGahdiasHAJDHjhbhdJ!!!
....Just read the deviation.

"When your hobby is feeling sorry for yourself, even the holiest saint can seem like a bully." ~ my great, great, great, great, great indian chief grandfather


See my deviations about Mary Sues and writing:
How Not to Tell a Story: makingfunofstuff.deviantart.co…
the Problem with Self-Inserts: makingfunofstuff.deviantart.co…
List of common cliches in stories: makingfunofstuff.deviantart.co…
the Real Definition of Mary Sue: makingfunofstuff.deviantart.co…
Common Problems with Stories Written by Teenagers: makingfunofstuff.deviantart.co…
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmetalshadowoverlord:
MetalShadowOverlord Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
The sad part is the most common form of bullying isn't pushing a kid down, or stealing his money, or calling him names.  Nowadays, it's simple matter of saying "I disagree" to the wrong person.
Reply
:iconmakingfunofstuff:
MakingFunOfStuff Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
Truth!
Especially if you're religious. Than you're a hateful, self-righteous bully who thinks they're going to hell. I really don't think there are as many people like that as some wish to believe o_O
Reply
:iconmetalshadowoverlord:
MetalShadowOverlord Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
Actually, on the subject of religion, it's funny how those who want stricter filtering to avoid seeing the ridiculous amount of so called "nude art" on DA are prudish slut-shamers, yet if you support organizations like the FFRF and American Atheist who throw lawsuits at anyone displaying anything that even remotely looks religious (see: www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/… ) and try to push religion into the darkest corners of society, then you're somehow standing up for people's basic, constitutional rights.  (It's funny because the only thing the constitution guarantees is the right to practice religion, if you so choose, and that there can't be any government-sanctioning of religion like there is in Europe (i.e. the religion is run by the government)).

Also, about what you said here: "I really don't think there are as many people like that (saying everyone is going to Hell) as some wish to believe".  The truth is that this comes from the stereotype of the fire and brimstone puritans whose sermons were almost always about how God was this angry being just waiting for you to slip up so He could send you to Hell.  This practice is actually still said by certain protestant groups.  The problem with this line of thinking isn't so much that Hell is a danger, but the breaking of the rule "Don't judge lest ya be judged".

I bring this up because, like bullying, love and hate, the word "judge" is also a word that is misused constantly.  Anytime someone says they disagree with something like homosexual marriage or feminism, they are immediately repeated the line (which the "bullied" themselves are deaf to).  It's funny, really, because the line actually refers to telling people they will go to Hell (a judgement no human is competent enough to make, which also applies to anyone saying that someone will go to Heaven).  You literally can't BE without judging things.  If you go to the market and buy one apple because another apple looks rotten, you've passed judgement on the bad apple.  If you had treated the bad apple as you would the good apple, your stomach would be kicking you for it.

Sorry for the wall of text. XD;;
Reply
:iconmakingfunofstuff:
MakingFunOfStuff Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
I agree with all that. I like big walls of text. XD

It's also pretty annoying when you're arguing with someone, and they say "those are just your religious convictions" First of all, why do people have "religious convictions?" Because their religion had a reason for it, and they happen to agree with that reason hence making them a follower of that religion. Usually it's when you're trying to explain those reasons that people lazily write you off as "just following those old pointless religious convictions," and shut you out. I mean, maybe there are people who "act like sheep," but in my opinion it's NOT the majority, and saying that is kind of ignorant when you won't even listen to what they have to say.

I also completely agree with what you said about judging. That line is taken SO out of context. People who quote it never seem to remember that the Bible also specifically tells us to "judge with right judgment." If someone looks suspicious, I'm staying the heck away from them, for example. It's not about shutting down our common sense, it's about how we never know if someone is going to Hell or not. Furthermore, if someone is really doing something wrong, it's not judging the state of their soul to explain to them that the action their doing is wrong in itself. To love is to will the good of the beloved, not let them carry on making mistakes because they think it's alright.

There seem to be a lot of cop out lines society will throw out, like: "Don't judge." "You're afraid of change." "You're just jealous," to name a few.



 
Reply
:iconmetalshadowoverlord:
MetalShadowOverlord Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
"Furthermore, if someone is really doing something wrong, it's not judging the state of their soul to explain to them that the action their doing is wrong in itself."

That's absolutely correct.  The most you can say is, "If you keep that up, you may end up in Hell".  That's pretty much the furthest someone can go when it comes to discussing someone's soul possibly being eternally damned.  It's a shame most people don't get this.

Also, I'm curious as to what you think of this: comments.deviantart.com/1/4388… Figured t might generate a laugh.
Reply
:iconmakingfunofstuff:
MakingFunOfStuff Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014
And in the first place, if somebody actually did say, "I don't want you to do that because you could possibly go to Hell," what's really so scandalous about it? They're showing concern for you. It would be one thing if they said, "Haha, you're going to Hell!" and wanted them to, but do people really do that all the time? Weird how I've never witnessed it.
Someone actually told me that they didn't want me to be Catholic because they didn't want me to go to Hell (they were protestant). It didn't offend me, I just talked to them about what I believed and why. Point being, it really doesn't have to be offensive anyway unless you want it to be. :roll: Wouldn't it be kind of mean on my part to blow up at them when they just want to help? It's not like I have to agree with them.


Lol, geez. I hate people who call strawman and purposely miss the point. It's not a strawman if you're giving an example of their logic, not saying they're literally doing the thing in the example. :facepalm: People do that to me all the time too. >_<
Reply
:iconmetalshadowoverlord:
MetalShadowOverlord Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014
"I just talked to them about what I believed and why."

You did the right thing doing that.  Blowing up at them wouldn't have accomplished a thing and you would have been a terrible example of yourself/Catholicism.

Ugh, I know...  It's just one of many excuses to avoid debate while simultaneously declaring "I win. HA!".
Reply
:iconmakingfunofstuff:
MakingFunOfStuff Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2014
Haha. Well, good luck with people like that. 

Just keep sticking to the basic truth without all the drama and distractions. That's all that really counts.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconwhitewolf977:
Whitewolf977 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
You know, this is the kind of concept that's inspiring me to write a novel of my own. It's kind of a spin off the "magical youth with great destinies" trope only the main character is fourteen and uses her power in horribly, horribly irresponsible ways.

You see, she was born with powerful psychic vision (powerful enough to see angels in their normal state without her eyes burning out of her skull) and she thinks she should be put on a pedestal for it. However, the majority of the school population either don't care or they poke some occasional fun at her. She makes a victim out of herself because she's so "special" and "nobody respects her waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" So, she makes a deal with an incredibly snarky demon so that she can place curses on her "bullies". Really, most of the people she curses are just a bunch of dorks who like to watch horror movies after school. In the end the only real bully is her. So, do you think that'd be interesting?
Reply
:iconmetalshadowoverlord:
MetalShadowOverlord Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014
I would so read this.
Reply
Add a Comment: